Sunday, January 2, 2011

Blog plus Pub Equals Guests

I won't lie tweeps, I've spent most of today in the pub. As an aftermath of a New Year's Day party where the designated home time appeared to be the very very early hours of this morning, recuperation has very much been so many of the dog's hairs that it was almost an entire, if unsteady dog. Just with no eyes, or innards. Just hair. The sort of dog that you'd get a child for Christmas and the joy in their eyes as they saw that puppy for the first time would be crushed by the realisation it was just a carefully crafted pile of hairs that crumbles with the first stroke. You see? That's what this blog will mostly be. It has been mostly silly. Brilliant silly, such as our several games of proper Scrabble that were played in the pub. Here is game one between me and Sam:

The Board:

I nearly won with Jbutimann and the revolutionary off the board skills.

The scoresheet:

Note that Sam is the winner, but I am the better winner.

Game two included Mat and included Sam's go beginning with a 'waaarts' then having the Latin, Egyptian and Caveman versions added to it to form a mega word. I then stacked a tower of letters and Mat trumped us all by creating a time rift and usurping all previous moves.

The Board:

The scoresheet:

It reminded me of the epic 'own rules' game of Star Wars monopoly I once had with 7 other friends about 10 years ago. It lasted over four hours and involved corporations being formed, interest, taxes, penalties and a loanshark who'd break your item's legs if you didn't pay back the money in enough moves. Board games are still the shizzle.

Right, now that's all done, its time for a new element to the blog for 2011. It won't necessarily be a regular feature by any means, but as I'm tired and drunk, today's blog will have guest paragraphs from my friends Sam and Mat. I would like to express that any opinions expressed by either Sam or Mat are entirely their own and I will claim no responsibility for the outcome. Not least because much of today's pub chat revolved around Sam's review of 'Girl With The Dragon Tattoo' being 'he put stuff up her bum for 20 minutes and then it gets dull.' Enjoy:

Mat Wandless Speaks To The People:

I'm sitting here, knowing full well that I agreed, nay asked, to do a guest paragraph on Tiernan's illustrious blog pages, but now, faced with the full momentous grandeur of it all I can only stare at the screen and wonder what to say. I'm heavy from the weight of consumed roast beef and vegetables and my jaw still aches slightly from when Sam's earlier Scrabble score (involving no fewer than 20 letters) "evolved" and grew to the point that it was actually hanging off the board on both edges. There was something about the sheer audacity of taking two fistfuls of Scrabble tiles, piling them on the board and declaring victory that sent me into hysteria so manic that I had to excuse myself and rain piss all over the bathroom of what was really quite a nice gastro pub.

We're now gently allowing our synapses to melt under the gentle yet insistent heat of Pacman Championship Edition DX a game that feels like eating a giant bag of sherbet coated fudge while being gently tickled in a sound proof booth filled with ambient house music and beautiful, angelic light. Not a bad game.

Well that was nice and verbose. Well done Mat.

Now its time for Sam Speaks The Truth:

People describe me as an unattractive, unfunny version of Tiernan so I guess it was only a matter of time before I guest in his blog. Today we've discussed my feelings on 'The Girl with a Dragon Tatoo' (Great rape scene with a really thin thriller story line attached), played scrabble (while I won, Tiernan won better) and now drinking Tea in Crouch End with T, Mat and Hannah. Which actually means us all feasting of anything with can suck out of Tiernan's neck. We had an incredible roast at the Noble, but oddly we're still all peckish. My tip for the year is Red, Green and the number 7. Happy new Year.

Well that was fun wasn't it? If nothing else it means I've done very little whilst proving to entirely why I write this blog and no one else does. Not as easy as it looks huh? Well it is, but we've all had booze.* I offered them the chance to voice opinions and issues that they wanted the world to know - or at least the two people that read this - and instead they give you paragraphs akin to Year 5 'what I did on my holidays' write-ups. What are they like eh? Should any of you prefer Sam or Mat's writing to mine then please let me know and I'll endeavor to shout horrific abuse at you and post rude things through your letterbox.

*Note to self: Blogs for the rest of 2011 will take place before pub activity and not after.

1 comment:

  1. More post pub posts! Also, Mat is funny.

    Happy New Year funny man x