Sunday, March 20, 2011

Terminal Problems

I remember when Terminal 5 at Heathrow was about to built and many people protested about such happenings. There was rightful outcry about the damage it would cause to the environment, but also the noise pollution for nearby residents, traffic issues and various other problems. I thought very little of it at the time, but today, after picking up my brother's girlfriend from the said terminal, I am seriously thinking about starting up those protests again. Not for the same reasons by any means. No, it should be shut down on the sheer principle that nowhere should make it quite that hard to get to the 'pick-up' area. A veritable winding maze of barriers, car parks and exit signs that lead nowhere, its as though King Minos himself had structured such evil as a trap for his enemies. I followed the signs to the 'pick up' area twice and both times found myself somehow outside of the airport again. After the first time I was convinced this was me being a moron, unable to read the simplest of directions. But after the second time, I realised there was no alternative. Even asking a car park attendant which turning I'm meant to be taking when it clearly says 'pick up' area and leads you away from the terminal, was met by the response 'dunno.' I'm fairly sure there is no pick up area and its all an elaborate ruse to make me increasingly angry. It worked. Well done BAA. Despite the fact your name makes you sound like a corporation for sheep, you are far more clever than that.

Above all else, it also costs just to drive to the pick up area. £2.70 for 0-30 mins stay. Technically, if you've never been, you've stayed there for 0 minutes and we should all be constantly paying £2.70 for nothing. I'm glad we're not but I do feel that either they should stop being quite so evil or follow through with it properly. I'm just saying that none of these things need to be anywhere near as difficult as they are and yet somehow someone has decided that ease of use is not within the criteria for a functioning airport. As I finally gave up and parked in a bay diagonally as a mark of vengeance, taking out two other bays from use all at once, I noticed several other cars just aimlessly driving around looking upset. Many had the appearance of fear, perhaps worried they were trapped in an Escher painting or some sort of delusional hell. Finally driving away the car at the exit barrier next to me just stopped there for some time, perhaps trying to figure out if they'd have to loop the whole way round again or if maybe, they could just leave their family member or loved one to fend for themselves and get the train. How many jetlagged souls are still wandering around looking for their pick up, unknown to them that mere feet away, their pick up is looking for them with no means of meeting. Damn you terminal 5, I wish you'd never been built.

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