Its probably slightly premature to write this blog during the budget. If I was sensible, I'd write this beyond the aftermath, fill it with commentary on the poormageddon Osborne has unleashed while simultaneously providing a travel guide of the best places to emigrate to instead. However, its sunny outside, and I can only watch Osborne's smug lizard face for so long before having to just hope that 'meeting the target' is slang for someone having him shot. But I'm not sensible and it is clearly actually Spring outside, with a beautiful sunny day to sit outside in, sans jacket, realise I should've had a jacket, and head back indoors again. This is all part of the Spring ritual, much like the first few days of actual summer where you go outside without sun cream, get horribly burnt then complain the rest of the time that its far too hot. I feel to deny any of this would be detrimental to my Britishness and general way of thinking.
I know how the budget will go anyway. We've been told its all about growth but without specifying exactly what growth and we can presume it won't be that of the job sector, nor the NHS or anything that's remotely useful. I am partly worried that due to earlier talk of Britain still keeping nuclear power, and then this 'growth' chat that a vast amount of money will go into creating Godzilla. If only so Osborne feels like he has an older brother. So far the budget appears to have included nothing to actually help anyone who's finding all the food and VAT rises difficult and at the same time done nothing about getting more money off those rich companies and people who keep their taxes offshore. There have, as far as my bored tired brain can understand, been several comments about how tax avoidance isn't fair, and yet there is little to reign any of it in from the people that are really dodging large payments such as Vodafone. Essentially it seems like Osborne needn't really have bothered doing a budget at all. I wonder if he just likes to carry a small red case and advertise just how much he likes to inflict fear and disappointment in everyone.
Oh no wait. The budget's over. There was a slight drop in fuel tax which was nice I suppose. I always feel that any slight decent thing that's done by the coalition hides something else. Growth appeared to not actually grow which means I suppose that its not really growth is it? Surely he should've said to begin with that this budget is all about shrinking? A 10% cut on inheritance tax when people hand over their estate to the next generation, a cut that once again I reckon will only help those who are rich enough to own estate's in the first place. Unless they mean family cars? Gift Aid being reduced seems to mean charities get taxed more and someone clever has just pointed out on Twitter that personal tax allowance being increased by CPI rather than RPI means it's less of an increase than it sounds. I don't understand, assuming that CPI is something you use to ressusitate people, but yes, it all sounds once again like a lie wrapped in a tortilla of clever words and terms. I wish I was more clever.
Oh the whole thing is a bit rubbish. I will probably just abandon it now and sit in the sun. Thank god for sunshine eh? It doesn't cost much. Yet. I fully expect that that'll be in the bit of the budget I miss out on. Thank god none of this comes into effect until midnight on Sunday. I'll go soak up as much as possible till then and save it for the next few weeks.