Sunday, December 26, 2010

So That Was Christmas

Well that's it. All done and only 364 days to go till the next one. How was yours? Really? Oh sorry about that. Yeah you are only meant to set the pudding on fire. Sad times. I'm sure your brother will recover. And get his face back. Yes. Well, sorry to rub it in, but mine was lovely. Were there some sort of clever ratings system my Christmas would get quite a lot of points. Sure all the regulars were there - good amounts of lovely grub and booze, large amounts of sitting - but it was eked into top Christmas level I think by our very selective Christmas viewing this year. As it was only myself, my mum and my dad - my brother currently traipsing the beaches of Thailand while we all receive each of his texts with a blend of enjoyment that's he having fun, sadness he's missing Christmas with us and extreme jealousy that he's not freezing his arse off and slipping on ice like the rest of us - we were very selective in festive viewing this year. Here's a run down, although after current food consumption, the thought of running makes me ill:

- Whistle and I'll Come

Despite its possibly pornographic title which may make you assume its about a lady with a penchant for referees, it was actually a really dark spooky ghost story starring John Hurt. John Hurt has the face of a man who's seen and done lots of things. I'm fairly sure a psychic could read the lines on his face and predict the future. The program was genuinely terrifying at points and worked wonderfully on the much forgotten art of less is more. This is only relevant, I should add, to cinema and TV. There are other areas that motto may well lead to disappointment. Anyway, brilliant work on my 'rents for having recorded it and I'm now scared of being on a English beach by myself forever more.

- Some Like It Hot

When is there not a good time to watch this film? I'm not going to harp on about it, but anyone that doesn't enjoy this film is wrong. Simple as. Along with Singin' In The Rain it should be used as some sort of universal test to see whether or not someone should be sent into space or not. Not to work on a satellite or discover something, i just mean into space. To float around aimlessly and not be wrong on Earth. If anyone ever tries to make this film I will single handedly start a war against them. I'll get a hat and a stick and there will be trouble.

- Doctor Who

Aside from the fact that flying sharks are possibly the most scary notion of all time - I mean just think about. Sharks. But flying. Its up there with spider-tigers and zombies in tanks - I bloody loved Doctor Who. Moffat is a script writing genius and while my dad made several complaints of it being bonkers at times, I feel that if we are investing time and attention to a program about a 900 year old time travelling Doctor, they have the licence to do whatever else with it they will really.

- Themroc

The last block of attempting to make our eyes into perfect squares was handed over to the most bizarre film I've possibly ever seen. It was a toss up between this and classic Dave Allen, but curiosity and the vague memories my parents had of seeing this in the '70's meant this was a winner. My mum has spent ages trying to track it down and the only available format was on VHS so there was a small amount of excitement as the trailers for long forgotten films were fast forwarded through. Then there was also the argument when my dad tried to find how to select 'English' subtitles and I had to explain that's only arrived with the advent of the DVD and you can't really select anything on a video. Rather than not move with the future, my dad has strolled comfortably forward with all technological advancements but now can't work out how people were so basic beforehand and refuses to believe it was ever otherwise.

Themroc is very strange. A French anarchistic film, it involves a man who decides he can't handle his 9 to 5 anymore and so becomes a neanderthal, smashing his flat into a rudimentary cave, and igniting a spark in his small estate that people don't have to conform to society anymore. This is portrayed in a number of ways I understood and a whole heap of others than were I to sum this film up in one word it wouldn't be 'festive', but rather 'bonkers'. Sheer bonkers. The constant shots of an old woman who never stops having the hiccups, the characters barking instead of using language, the eating of a dead policeman and the random inclusion of incest, it all became fairly clear why Themroc is so hard to find. Also just how little my parents actually remembered of it. I feel I'm past the area in my life where seeing a sex scene in a film with family is disturbing, but there was more than a little tension as the man eyes up his sister and we all very quickly disregarded eating anymore cherry liquors. Odd, yet an interesting view and despite its weirdness, I still reckon probably better than the Xmas special of Corrie.

So a win overall. Add to that my Dad seeing two birds in the garden eating the food they had left for them and exclaiming, without thinking 'Those are Great Tits', it was much fun. We all braved the sales today and I left with a combination of Scott Pilgrim on Blu Ray and a wok, cheese grater and sieve. I can't help but feel this is an odd combination of goods and both marks the demise of my childhood, whilst at the same time fully confirming its still very evident. I feel like Peter Pan if he had a beard, drank beer, and had an odd compulsion to ensure his collection of green boots was in order and aligned in the shoe rack.

I will leave you with something fun I discovered today. With the arrival of 3D TV, its very easy to upset a staff worker at an electrical shop by refusing to believe that 3D TV isn't just the really old bulky sets we used to have and that you like your 2D flatscreen much better as it takes up less space. That's how you make pimply Dave, aged about 18 in PC World, cry over Xmas. Win.

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