I haven't got to enjoy this snow once yet, which I'm fairly gutted about. Not a single snow dude built. Snow dude rather than snow man, because all the ones I build are total dudes. Or more often, deformed weirdos that due to their abnormally large heads and unfeasible small torsos tend to become decapitated by a single gust of breeze. So as not to make them feel bad I refer to them as dudes rather than 'freaky icy headless horrors'. Not a single snowball thrown, although admittedly had I tried I probably would have left most of it in my hand creating temporary frost bite while an unintended victim gained a teaspoon of snow dust in their face. Apart from a brief drive over Alexandra Palace yesterday afternoon, I haven't even oooh'd at frost covered London in its gleaming snowy wonder. No, instead I've skidded my car about 6 times, nearly slid all the way down the hill I now live on whilst carrying heavy things into our flat and yesterday forgot my scarf causing my neck to go solid cold and forcing me to look everyone direct in the eye until I defrosted. In but an hour or so I have to drive all the way to Leeds which is, according to the weather reports, far far more snowy than London. Luckily I am taking Tony Law with me so if we get stuck in a snow drift for hours then I suppose I could eat him to survive. Not that I'd want to, as he's both a lovely chap and a top comic, but never let it be said that I don't think about survival seriously.
Its amazing how unfun snow can be when you have to actually do stuff. I'd very much like it if everytime it snowed the government just said they'd pay everyone to stay at home. Not that this government would ever do that, especially with this deficit. I think they'd rather people risked their lives in the hope that with a few more dead they can garner all their inheritance tax off their loved ones and stick it back into the banks. Grrr, even imagining the Coalition talking about snow makes me hate them. Of course, were it a different time and place, people wouldn't be able to just take days off anyway and then there'd be people like the grit lorry drivers who'd have to work and resent everyone else. Although I presume they don't work any other time of year? I mean, I've never heard a call for grit during Spring, Summer or Autumn? Is there any other use for it? Some people use for their teeth. Some people with sharp accents use it to say things are great. I think that's it. I mean, not that I know a lot about grit. I can never figure out how we run out of it as a country. Surely its just everywhere? Surely its just dirt isn't it?
Someone the other day told me that its not just dirt and that they had once tried using cat litter as grit to clear up the ice. Apparently it just stayed on top of the ice and made it even worse as it was now litter covered ice causing even less grip. I also scolded them for littering. Arf. Sorry. Anyway, I just hope this snow keeps up for another few weeks. Sure it'll cause chaos everywhere, but I'm away from Sunday and I'd like to come back on Friday and get to build at least one snow dude. If it looks like its going to stop, could you all please keep a little bit in your freezer for me? I presume that with all 6 people that read this blog, if you all did it, I could make a tiny one. Thanks thanks.