Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Combien est-cela le chien dans la fenêtre ?

So when you were in France Tiernan, did you go to some pretty places? Did you see some good stuff? Did you take any pictures? Well Mr Questiony, I did have a lovely stroll round Antibes last night before my gig where I saw the moonlight reflect on the water as I stood along the stone wall promenade before strolling down the cobbled streets of the old town. But no, instead of taking any decent pictures of that, I've just filled my camera today with various pictures of kittens and puppies that were on display in a pet shop near our hotel.

Ahahahah its up a pole. Ahahahahaha!

I have been curious as to why its the French thing to have a small dog. Particularly a dog so small its not even really a dog, more a sort of big mouse. That looks like a dog. Then they give these little dogs tiny jackets as if to mock evolution. 'Their fur coats are not substantial enough, we must play god and dress them up ourselves.' But now having spent the last 20 minutes watching tiny dogs scrap at each through shopfront glass, I really want one with a small jacket. Of course I'd give him a smoking jacket rather than a normal one, and a small Sherlock Holmes like hat and a pipe. I would name him Reynard and we would solve crimes together. Hopefully he'd stay tiny like the French dogs otherwise I'd have to throw him away. I know dogs are for life and not just for Christmas, but I'd keep mine slightly longer than Christmas and then throw him away as there doesn't seem to be a phrase about that. I wonder if that's how the French keep such tiny dogs? They merely put them in the bin when they get too big. Hmm. Curiouser. The dogs in the shop window were brilliant. They did barking and then scrapping and then jumping and one with a big furry face had a little slide he kept going down backwards and then the other one would bite his face ahahahahahahahaah. Then the cats went up a pole and wouldn't come down and their faces were all squishy. Hahahahahahahah! Clearly the most entertaining thing ever.

I am very hungover today and watching animals fall off things was exactly what was needed to make me feel better. Antibes was the best gig ever. Bloody love Antibes. Not just because it sounds like an exact opposite of a honey making insect. Not just because I found the bit of wall I fell asleep on drunk and nearly died and there is now a 'danger' sign there. Not just because a very sexy French lady did the most brilliantly arrogant yet cheeky comment when she walked past the gig as it was going on:

Lady: 'What iz thiz?'
Moi: 'Its a comedy show.'
Lady: 'Comedy? Een Eenglish?'
Moi: "Yes.'
Lady: 'Eeenglish Comedy in Antibes. (Roll of the eyes, shrug, then in the most patronising tone ever) Well of course.'

It doesn't read as well as it looked, but trust me, it was legendary. It was all of those things and the fact the gig was in a brilliant room, great friendly crowd, lots and lots of beer and then more beer back in Nice, and then tequilas and then more beer and then memory loss during which I've been informed I knocked over a whole table of drinks by falling on it. I wonder if people watched me through the window, pointed, laughed and took pictures for their blogs. Possibly.

Tonight is the final show in Nice. All I ask is that its, er, well nice. Which it will be. By default.

On a different note: Yesterday's captions are all in the wrong order for the pictures I took. Sorry about this. It was all the food drunkeness' fault. Today I have eaten less so hopefully it should all go to plan. If not, why not just print out my blog, cut out the pictures and re-arrange them with the correct captions, before sending in your entries. First one with all correct answers wins my loathing and lack of respect for having so much time on your hands.

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