Rather boring theme for today's blog but I thought as its a Friday and my sinuses' snot production rate has improved by 50%, that I would go for something cheeryish (its a word, deal with it). I might add that when I say the 'snot production rate has improved' I mean its got worse. If I was a little sinus manager I'd go round slapping my sinuses on the back, congratulating them on meeting all the targets. However I am displeased with what they are doing and fully hope they are in for some of recession and subsequent factory closure soon as I feel a bit like shit. To top it off, I have to do a gig that's a few hours drive away, by myself, after having seen Ghost Stories on Wednesday, dealing with my own paranoia, Friday traffic, and the rain. Its essentially a bag of bad. That I would assume is the opposite of a bag for life. You might say, ah, but what about bags for death? But they are called body bags, so have a different name and therefore don't count. I'm not sad though. No, far from it. I had a lovely gig in a Primary School last night, which despite its unusual venue was rather lovely. I didn't manage to get the audience to sing Cumbaya during the intervals and no one was keen on having a talk about morals or hearing a song about the number 12, so I just MC'd it as normal instead. Henry Paker spoke to a woman who has a crocheted bed jacket and as far as I'm concerned that should be all you need to know to ensure your impression of the gig was a very good one.
So today I thought I would do one of those slightly cop-out blogs and just tell you some things what I like. As you know, despite my limited audience, I am one hell of a trend setter. I take trends, put them in jelly moulds, leave them there, and then take them out and kids eat them at parties. I am the coolest of all the Irish dogs (trend setter, geddit? Do ya? Do ya?). So let me tell you what's hot, while I am fully immersed in what's snot:
Mostly I am listening to the new Gorillaz album Plastic Beach. Its silly good. I rarely listen to an album on repeat but I have done so many times with this and its not because my stereo is broken. I am a rather huge Damon Albarn fan, and think that pretty much everything he does is good. I bet he even makes good sandwiches and is pretty good at bowling. He strikes me (no pun intended) as that sort of person who's good at all those things. I remember talking to Steve Hall (also a Damon Albarn fan) about all Albarn's efforts and I'm looking forward to yakking with him (that's talking, not a specific sport using large hairy mammals) about aspects of the new Gorillaz album that would bore most other people. It is all good though. A proper album, where each track blends seamlessly into the next while still being hugely varied throughout. And its got Snoop Dogg on it. Some might say that they don't give a shizzle about the D-O-Double Gizzle anymore, but Doggystyle is still awesome enough that I get excited at the prospect he might something as good again one day. He won't. I've bought 6 of his albums since then and everytime its left me angry. But there's always hope. And Albarn uses him, Bobby Womack and Mos Def all very very well. Just bloody go and buy it and then I can talk boring things with you.
I am also listening to Massive Attack - Heglioland which is just incredible. I was listening to the repeated Blagger's Guide to Brizzle / The Bristolian Scene last night and I forget just how awesome most of what Massive Attack have done is. They even made Madonna sound like less of a twat once. That's gotta be quite hard to do, so well done them. The new album has Guy Garvey on it, who I'm fairly sure I can do a decent impression of when I'm driving. I'm not sure if I can do it when not driving, its not been tested. Other albums that I won't go on about but are also awesome: Marina and the Diamonds - The Family Jewels ( I love her. And she already has diamonds so you wouldn't have to buy her any. She sounds amazing), Broken Bells - Broken Bells (It doesnt at all sound like broken bells, which is a good thing), and Gil Scot-Heron - I'm New Here (legend amongst legends).
I've decided I really like pretending that all words that begin with 're' take the same meaning as 'redoing'. I've realised I can't really explain it using clever speak so here's some examples:
Rehearse - my old hearse has broken. I must get a new one.
Reveal - My veal storage container is empty. I must reveal.
Remedy - my medi is lost. I need to remedy.
It never stops being good. FACT.
MASS EFFECT 2
Yawn say the ladies. However I will keep it brief. I borrowed this off my friend Mat on Wednesday night and so far have already played it for 8 hours. Its stupidly good. I've designed my character to look like a sort of Lawrence Fishburne and he's friendly while being totally badass and shooting things in faces. When I grow up I want to be him. This may be difficult on many accounts, not least because he is pixellated.
I've harped on about this loads but all the recent ones have been awesome. See this for example:
PICTURES FOR SAD CHILDREN
But a new contender to most awesomesthellacoolbrilliant online comic strip is this:
HARK, A VAGRANT
See? I told you. I know things.
NICHOLAS BROTHERS IN STORMY WEATHER
Again, more people I'd like to be when I grow up. I hope they bring this to Strictly Come Dancing next season, and that Brucie gives it a go and finally dies.
That's all for today. I suggest if you are at work that you spend the entire day doing all the stuff I've recommended. If your boss has a go, just tell them that you are indulging in what will soon be the coolest things ever as I've said they are and they will have to forgive you. If they don't, I will come back from the future as Captain Shepherd and force them to retire. That's because they will have two flat tyres if I don't. Arf.