Mini Beasts

I love Spring. I like all the things that happen when Spring happens. Like the sunshine, the flowers blooming, the birds singing, the tiny spiders in my room and the ants in the living room.....oh. Oh dear. As Nat pointed out when I found the four scurrying scouts preparing to send back word about all the food crumbs on our homely floor, our flat seems to become more and more like a shack everyday that goes by. Her and Tom are still sleeping in the living room due to the mould in their room. It still hasn't paid rent. Nor has it ever made us a cup of tea or even socialised with us on an evening and its starting to feel like a squatter who hasn't even bothered to see if the house is vacated let alone look into its rights. Combine this with the windows that don't open properly, the shower guard that doesn't, the kitchen cupboard door that is falling off its hinges and the odd amounts of dust this place gathers as though we must shed skin quicker than a snake on speed, and you could say our home has a lot of character if nothing else. And now, to give depth to that character two seasons in, we appear to have a small amount of ants that want to hang out. Well we don't want them to hang out. I've never been a fan of ants, yet throughout my life, they appear to be a fan of me. Most places I have lived in, have at some point or another, had a lot of ants maraud through in a blurry black line of food theft. My student house in the second year where my housemates and I had parties of legendary quality, would always be left the day after such an event in a state of sheer disarray. Beer spilt on the floor, mud, mess, general mayhem and yet, through all of this, there would also always be a long line of ants. Starting near the front door and making their way all round the living room far wall, to the kitchen door, through the kitchen and around that wall and out through the back door to the garden. You could have neatly cut around the dotted line they made and pulled half of the house off its foundations.

Joining our new found ant buddies were two tiny spiders I found in my room yesterday. One found its way onto my arm somehow and then found its way flung outside via my pen and some fury. The other one scrabbling around my keyboard as though trying to type a message of help. I disregarded such a warning and flicked it somewhere else in the room thus not really removing the problem. I have never liked spiders either. Too many legs and eyes for any creature and throughly selfish when you consider the plight of the worm which has neither. I'm not a fan of any creepy crawlies, giving maybe a moment's thought for a bee thanks to honey making or a ladybird because it looks all fancy. Butterflies don't hold any water with me, not least because they can't physically hold water with such tiny legs, but also because while they look all pretty wingwise, look closer and they still have stupid horrible insect faces. Something they should really think about sorting out should they ever want to be friends with me. Above all though, spiders are definitely the worst of the mini-beasts. They have powers we just can't understand. I once found one on my arm whilst in an open field. It left my arm by climbing up a web that appeared to be attached to the sky and it continued to climb until it had entirely disappeared. I am still disturbed by this. I am more disturbed by the idea of it raining spiders. I hate spiders. Though I am now worried that the one on my keyboard was trying to tell me something. And maybe the ants in the kitchen are crawling around in the pattern of an ancient prophecy? If the wasps that used to live in our bathroom return and die in a pattern in the bath spelling 'the apocalypse is now' then I'll really start to worry.

More likely however, is that we just need to hoover again. I suspect I'll be seeing many more of the wee monsters very soon. Hooray for Spring. Sigh.